DeeKnow’s Grotto

There is nothing quite as alluring, mysterious and yet altogether terrifying as the leather framed entity the common man knows as a womans handbag.

Like Captain Caveman's hair-do a handbag seems to have a modestly compact exterior volume, yet at the same time posseses a proportionally vast and accomodating interior not unlike Doctor Who's mighty Tardis.

A woman can reach into her bag at any insant and retrieve all sorts of lethal or cosmetic weapons, and who knows what other unmentionable and invisible horrors lurk beneath a hand-bags otherwise sedate skin.

So it was that I approached Kym's bag with some trepidation on Saturday when informed that the keys I'd been searching for where probably "inside the bag"

There was no way I was entering that hostile territory without some guidance, or specific direction from its owner. Which pocket would the keys be in?, what side of the bag?, would there be zippers?, would I lose my hand at the wrist if I poked it inside the wrong compartment?

I looked, and I searched, and I poked about for what seemed liked an eternity but there was no sign of my keys, so I withdrew with some relief and began scouring the rest of the house. The longer it I spent vainly searching elsewhere the more a cold-sweat feeling developed that I was going to have to "return to the bag" for one more look.

This time I had a little more confidence given the earlier unscathed escape, Kym was encouraging me, insisting it was safe and that the keys would indeed be found. However despite searching the impossible number of nooks and crannies within the bag I still didn't turn the keys out.

By now the bags owner was becoming a little unsettled herself, with cries of "for Gods sake" and "useless wanker" Kym roared at me to have a "decent look" before unspeakable physical horrors befell me from her direction. So in a desperate last ditch attempt to solve the riddle of the keys I grabbed the bag, tipped it upside down, and blow me down but what do you think was the 1st thing to fall out....

My Bloody Keys.    (I'm sure she planted them)

10:42:30 PM