DeeKnow’s Grotto

It seems like all we ever talk about at home is either how cute the cat is, or what he's killed lately. But this week he really went one too far. At about 8pm a few nights back I'm sitting quitely minding my own business when all of a sudden I hear this blood-curdling SCREAM from Kym ... apparently Kola had bought in a Rat.

I try to look calm and relaxed and slip past the hysterical Kym who's violent gesticulations give me a pretty good idea where the offending critter is. Sure enough there's a full-grown adult rat ducking and diving his way past the cat along the wall. Kola (our cat) didnt seem to quite know how to handle the situation, and the Rat actually seemd to have the upper-hand.

It kept getting up on its hind quarters and hissing at the cat for long enough to put it off before darting off in another escape-bid. I'd have a mad swing at it with the broom but it seemed to defy capture as we migrated from one room of the house to another, Kym evicting herself anytime we got near.

Finally the little grey bugger made a desperate break for a junction between two cabinets in our kitchen and dissapeared thru what at first look appeared to be a rat-chewed-hole in the wall that looked like it went down under the house. It seemed that the drama was over, I blocked up the hole, Kym stopped screaming, and life seemed to eventually get back to normal (after we'd ridiculed the cat of course for his poor performance)

A couple of nights later though it all turned to custard. Kym claimed she could smell something foul in the kitchen, and a dead rat was immediately suspected. A day later and it was definately getting worse so I was subsequently charged with the extraction of said rodent.

I consulted my builder mate Kelly to find out what tools I'd need for the job, and after he'd finished pissing himself about the situation I was off to the hardware store to buy a hole/needle-saw. Back home, drilled a few holes in the cupboard we thought the smell was coming from, sawed a wee inspection chamber, and discovered .... NOTHING... What the fuck?

Out with the drill again,  couple more holes in the cupboard next door,  a bit more sawing and up with the second trapdoor, poke around with a torch to spot the offending decaying carcass and .... BUGGER ME DAYS ... still no sight of it. I even got the digital camera out to look back towards the sink but still no rat.

After a little more analysis the only possible place seemed to be a 3-inch wide gap between the two cupboards, and after another 30mins of tedious drilling, sawing and knuckle-bruising I lifted the lid on the 3rd chamber and lo and behold there's the friggin Rat dead as a door-nail.

The kitchen was a bloody shambles by this stage, gave it a quick tidy up, buried the dead rodent and Kym re-emerged from her hiding place to praise me to the high heavens.  See, us blokes are useful for something after-all.

9:16:05 AM