Funny Sig-file Quotes

A collection of quotes I've used in the footer of my email messages over the last couple of years...

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Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
and a leaky tire.

A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

Things the movies taught you:
  A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

Deja Brew: The feeling you've had this coffee before

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
	- Doug Larson

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

A man's reach should exceed his grasp.
	- Robert Browning

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 

Sign That No One Reads Your E-Mails...
	You get replies with "REMOVE" in the subject header

If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm
	- Vince Lombardi

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education
	- Mark Twain

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
	- Jules Renard

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees,
then names the streets after them.
	- Bill Vaughan

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 

An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind
	- Mahatma Gandhi

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Mary had a crypto key, she kept it in escrow,
and everything that Mary said, the Feds were sure to know.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841

All it takes to fly is to hurl yourself at the ground... and miss.
	- Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so
	- Douglas Adams

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