DeeKnows Homepage

Main menu:

DeeKnow’s Grotto

More Funny Sig-file Quotes

Another collection of quotes I've used in the footer of my email messages over the last couple of years...

Is there another word for synonym?

Isnít Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse ?

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil! 

Television: a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
	- Ernie Kovacs.

There are three kinds of people:
those who can count, and those who can't

I just got skylights put in my place.
The people who live above me are furious. 

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

"That was a bit scary. Next, I must save the USA."
	- Aero Fighters 2

Trust in God, but tie your camel - Old Persian proverb.

They X-Rayed my head and found nothing.

Draft beer, not people.

Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.
If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

Caffine: Thanks to modern medicine, sleep is now an option.

But isn't the purpose of the Doomsday machine lost if you keep it a secret!

One never steps in the same river twice.
	- Heraclitus, Ancient Greek Philosopher

It might look like I'm standing motionless, but I'm actively waiting
for my problems to go away
	- Scott Adams

Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave.

"It's the cover-up that gets you."  - Richard 'Tricky Dicky' Nixon

How was copper wire invented? Two lawyers arguing over a penny.

If you can't laugh at yourself you might be missing the joke of the century.

God is REAL ... unless previously declared as an integer

lrwxrwxrwx  1  deans webadmin  0 Nov 10 1968 .sig - /dev/null

Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.
	- Homer Simpson

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba

"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in
body.  Then I realised who was telling me this" - Emo Phillips  

First, get your facts straight - then you can distort them at your leisure.
	- Mark Twain

Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms.

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

Psychiatrists say one in four people is crazy.
Check three friends, if they re OK, you re it! 

Save water, shower with a friend! 

I Have The Body Of A God...  Buddha

Meetings: The practical alternative to work

Remember, your body is a temple; however, it's also your dancehall
and bowling alley
	- Dharma Montgomery