DeeKnow’s Grotto

After many adult years of cunningly avoiding being summonsed for jury service duty, the system finally caught up with me recently demanding that I show up at the district court in Hamilton.

I had the misfortune to be seated bang smack in the middle of a swirling pool of idiots down the back of the jury selection room. One elderly seated neighbour was doing cross-stitch on a ragged old blanket whilst eaves-dropping on everyone's conversations which she would randomly barge her way in to, behind me was a camp-as-a-row-of-soldiers Maori guy chatting up a young and unsuspecting Asian lad who was telling everyone within airshot what a crap place NZ was.

To my left was an old codger who prattled away in my less than enthusiastic ear about the inadequacies of our legal system, the stupidity of the people in the room, and every popular contemporary conspiracy theory (bar UFO's thank the Lord). The only redeeming features of his character were that he was a fisherman and that he rode bikes so I got to hear a lot, an awful lot, about the Nortons and BSAs he'd owned during his long an torturous life. I briefly managed to mention my bike but apparently modern machinery doesn't count.

It's quite an interesting if drawn out process the whole jury selection thing and the support you get from the staff makes it pretty easy going as far as responsibility goes, which is most fortunate considering the apparent caliber of potential jurors present.

Speaking of caliber.. the presiding Judge was a fine female specimen of our species. You've heard of the term MILF right? Well after the brief session in court today (yes I did get selected for the Jury) I feel compelled to coin the phrase "JILF" :-)

9:25:27 PM